Have you ever heard about something called Cinderella Syndrome, Cinderella Complex, or Cinderella Disorder? Is women’s inferiority in society entirely to be blamed on their cultures and norms?
I am going to answer all these questions in this article which I wrote exactly on 8th March 2021 after I researched the character of females generally in relation to how nature has positioned them.
Today the 8th of March 2022, the entire world is celebrating one of the most significant days n history of civilization, International Women’s Day; a day associated with the empowerment of females all around the world as well as recognizing their rights and contributions in and to the society.
What Is The Cinderella Syndrome?
Cinderella syndrome, Cinderella complex, and Cinderella disorder all refer to a psychological condition in which a woman fears true independence and secretly expects a “knight in shining armor” to come along and take care of her. The term “Cinderella complex” was coined by Agatha Christie in a murder mystery novel, but the book by this title written by Colette Dowling brought the condition worldwide public attention. Cinderella syndrome is not recognized by the American Psychiatric Association as a diagnosis, but women who feel abnormally dependent on others may be interested in learning more about this condition.
In this era, we have groomed a generation of girls who are extremely self-conceited to the extent that they feel incomplete without external validation. Validation is when one receives assurance that they look, work or act in the right/good way; it’s different from appreciation because appreciation comes after effort whereas validation comes usually for no better reason other than revelation.
EXTERNAL VALIDATION
Back to my point; females are slowly starting to entirely rely on external validation to measure their self-worth. This to me personally isn’t something we should be proud of! Females are complete human beings and they deserve to go through all the stages of growth in order for them to actually be useful not just for adult pleasure, but for the good of the world. The greatest women in this world like Taylor Swift, Oprah, Ellen DeGeneres, and many more have either been associated with cruel backgrounds or getting underestimated morally. This is a clear indication that the “happy ever after” stories are given to us by Disney Walt are not possible in the real world. We can never achieve happiness by depending on people’s emotions and intentions towards us.
Boys have mastered this because they are the ones who always put themselves up there for rejection and they clearly know that their happiness comes from within them and how much value they add to themselves through hard work.
WOMEN’S FEAR FOR INDEPENDENCE
In her book, The Cinderella Complex: Women’s Hidden Fear of Independence, published in 1981, Dowling described the experience of discovering her own Cinderella complex when she decided to move in with a man after she had been living independently for several years:
“The moment the opportunity to lean on someone presented itself I stopped moving forward—arrived, in fact, at a dead halt. I no longer made decisions, rarely went anywhere on my own, rarely visited with my friends. In six months, I had not met one deadline or gone through the friction involved in working out a contract with a publisher. A flight-from-stress had become my unconscious goal. I had slipped back—lounged back, really, as into a large tub of tepid water—because it was easier. Because tending flower beds and organizing the grocery shopping and being a ‘good partner’ is less anxiety-provoking than being out there in the adult world making a life for oneself.”
Dowling
This revelation shows that women can be independent as well until someone usurps their personal responsibilities to take care of themselves.
As we celebrate this wonderful day, I’d like us to remember that ladies not only need empowerment but self-realization.
FINAL REMARKS
If you’re a girl out there, I encourage you to strive for success, not cheap validation, because it comes with strings.
It’s better to be a successful person than someone’s fetish!
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