Putting People On A Pedestal | The #1 Toxic Habit

“Putting people on a pedestal” refers to treating individuals in an elevated and idealized manner, often based on how they present themselves or our perception of their significance in our lives. This practice involves attributing exaggerated positive qualities to them and ignoring their flaws and weaknesses. The act of putting someone on a pedestal can impact various aspects of our relationships and personal well-being.

Also Read: The Story of Sedrick Otolo, a motivational speaker from Lira

The Meaning of “Putting People on a Pedestal”

When we put someone on a pedestal, we specially treat them, either due to how they present themselves or because of the idealized image we have of them. This can manifest in various relationships and settings, leading to unrealistic expectations and imbalanced dynamics.

Examples of Putting People on a Pedestal

• Romantic Partners: In a romantic relationship, putting a partner on a pedestal might involve seeing them as perfect and superior to everyone else. This idealization can blind us to their shortcomings, making us vulnerable to their decisions and actions.
• Celebrities and Idols: Many people put celebrities or public figures on pedestals, perceiving them as flawless and larger than life. This idealization can lead to disappointment when they make mistakes or behave contrary to the image we have of them.
• Parents and Authority Figures: Children may place their parents or authority figures on pedestals, making it challenging for them to acknowledge their imperfections or set healthy boundaries.
• Bosses and Colleagues: In the workplace, we might put our bosses or certain colleagues on pedestals, allowing them to take advantage of us or dismiss their faults due to excessive admiration.

Reasons to Avoid Putting People on a Pedestal

1. Unrealistic Expectations: When we idealize others, we set unrealistic expectations for them to live up to. Nobody is perfect, and expecting flawless behavior can lead to disappointment and strain in relationships.
2. Vulnerability to Manipulation: Placing someone on a pedestal can make us susceptible to manipulation. People who realize they are idealized may exploit this adoration for personal gain.
3. Diminished Self-Worth: Constantly elevating others can lead to a diminished sense of self-worth. We may feel unworthy or inadequate compared to the pedestal we’ve created for them.
4. Lack of Authentic Connections: Genuine connections are built on authenticity and mutual understanding. Idealizing someone prevents us from seeing them as they truly are and can hinder genuine bonding.
5. Missed Red Flags: Idealizing others can blind us to potential red flags or negative behaviors. We may overlook warning signs in the belief that the person is infallible.
6. Inequality in Relationships: Healthy relationships are built on equality and mutual respect. Placing someone on a pedestal creates an imbalanced dynamic, where one person is seen as superior and the other as inferior.

Origins and Impact of Narcissism

Many people develop a habit of putting others on pedestals due to growing up with narcissistic individuals. Narcissism is a disorder characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance. If raised by narcissistic parents, one might have been taught to place them on a pedestal, ignoring their faults and blindly adhering to their demands.

Unhealthy Effects on Relationships

Putting people on pedestals can negatively impact various relationships, including romantic ones. Seeking constant validation from others and trying to impress them can lead to insecurity and a sense of inadequacy. Consequently, this behavior may attract manipulative individuals who take advantage of such vulnerabilities.

Breaking Free from the Cycle

To avoid the pitfalls of putting others on pedestals, it’s essential to be aware of the pattern and address it. Recognize when you’re excessively praising or idolizing someone and learn to see them as flawed individuals like everyone else. Developing intuition and savvy about people can protect you from those with ulterior motives.

Reflecting on Your Upbringing

Those raised in narcissistic environments should ask themselves critical questions:

1. Can I confidently say “no”?
2. Am I afraid of others and hesitant to ask questions?
3. Do I recognize manipulation and game-playing in relationships?
4. Do people often take advantage of me?
5. Am I carrying others’ burdens at work?
6. Does my hero worship complicate my relationships?
7. Do I take everything too seriously?
8. Do I ignore my gut feelings about others?
9. Did my parents elevate themselves while belittling others?

Embracing Balanced Perspectives and Authentic Relationships

To foster healthier relationships and a more fulfilling life, it’s crucial to recognize and address the tendency to put people on pedestals. Instead, strive for balanced perspectives, acknowledging both the strengths and weaknesses of individuals. Embrace authenticity and recognize that everyone has flaws, including ourselves. By treating others as equals and appreciating them for their genuine qualities, we can build more meaningful and satisfying connections with those around us.

Putting people on pedestals can be a harmful pattern that affects various aspects of our lives. By understanding its origins and recognizing its impact, we can build healthier relationships based on equality and genuine connections. Let’s embrace a new perspective and coexist harmoniously with different personality dynamics. May this understanding lead to more authentic and enriching relationships, enhancing your well-being and personal growth.

Researched and written By John Kenny ADEYA

Putting People on a Pedestal Meaning

Putting people on a pedestal refers to the act of elevating someone to an idealized or exaggerated status, often beyond their real qualities or abilities. It involves viewing a person as flawless, superior, or perfect, which can create unrealistic expectations. This behavior can lead to disappointment or resentment when the individual inevitably shows flaws or fails to meet those expectations. The metaphor of a pedestal suggests that the person is placed in an elevated, often unreachable position, making it difficult for them to be seen or treated as an equal.

Putting People on a Pedestal Quotes

Quotes about putting people on a pedestal often reflect the dangers of idolizing others and the importance of maintaining realistic expectations in relationships. One popular quote by C.S. Lewis warns, “Put first things first and second things are thrown in.” This emphasizes how elevating people to a high status can distort one’s perception of priorities. Another by Maya Angelou offers wisdom: “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” This speaks to how idolizing others can sometimes lead to personal diminishment or emotional harm.

Putting Someone on a Pedestal Psychology

From a psychological perspective, putting someone on a pedestal often stems from a need for validation or admiration. It can also be tied to a person’s low self-esteem or feelings of inadequacy, where they seek to elevate others to compensate for their perceived shortcomings. Psychologists often explain this behavior as a form of idealization, where individuals project their desires, fantasies, or expectations onto others. However, this can lead to emotional imbalance and unhealthy relationships, as the pedestal becomes unsustainable once the idealized person’s flaws surface.

Putting People on a Pedestal in a Relationship

In romantic or personal relationships, putting someone on a pedestal can be detrimental to both parties. It often involves one person viewing the other as perfect and above reproach, which can lead to unhealthy dynamics. The person placed on the pedestal may feel immense pressure to live up to unrealistic expectations, while the one doing the idolizing may experience feelings of disappointment or resentment when the person inevitably falls short. A balanced relationship requires both individuals to accept each other’s flaws and strengths, fostering mutual respect rather than one-sided admiration

Examples of Putting Someone on a Pedestal

An example of putting someone on a pedestal could be a fan who views a celebrity as flawless, disregarding the celebrity’s human imperfections or mistakes. Another example is someone in a relationship who treats their partner as if they can do no wrong, dismissing their flaws or needs. In a workplace, a person may elevate their boss to an untouchable level, expecting perfection and failing to acknowledge their limitations. In these examples, the individual on the pedestal is viewed through a lens that ignores their real humanity, leading to potential disillusionment when they fall short of these idealized standards.

Putting Someone on a Pedestal Relationship
In a relationship, putting someone on a pedestal can cause an imbalance of power and create unrealistic expectations. One partner may be idealized as being without flaws or limitations, which puts immense pressure on them to always meet these expectations. The other partner may neglect their own needs or personal growth by constantly admiring the other, leading to resentment over time. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, where both partners are seen as equal, each with their strengths and imperfections. Acknowledging each other’s flaws fosters emotional intimacy and trust.

Putting Someone on a Pedestal Synonym

Synonyms for “putting someone on a pedestal” include idolizing, worshiping, exalting, idealizing, glorifying, or lionizing someone. These terms all suggest an excessive, often one-sided admiration of someone, elevating them to a level of unreasonably high regard. Other phrases that capture this behavior include looking up to or putting someone on a throne, both of which imply a disproportionate admiration that often disregards the person’s humanity.

How to Deal with Putting People on a Pedestal

To deal with the habit of putting people on a pedestal, it is important to practice self-awareness and self-compassion. Begin by recognizing when you are idealizing someone, and reflect on why you may be doing so. Challenge the unrealistic expectations you have placed on them and remind yourself that everyone, including yourself, has strengths and weaknesses. Cultivating a sense of balance in relationships involves accepting others as they are, with their flaws and imperfections, and avoiding the pressure to view them as perfect. Developing healthier perspectives allows for more authentic and fulfilling connections with others.