It’s 2023 , a new year though you know as well as I know that some habits won’t change in people.Take a moment, reflect back on the numerous occasions you have been asked : how are you doing? They are many, right? So what did you say /respond with ?
It doesn’t matter what you usually respond with. There are higher chances that the response has always been “ I am great, thank you” , “ I’m fine ,how are you ? “ or “ I’m okay “ and many more such positive responses.
However, looking at the question: How are you doing? , It seems to ask more than the above common responses. The question drives at digging more information about your general wellbeing.
Sadly, the world or the part of the world where I am, people have be trained to give only one response.Right from Childhood,when asked “how are you doing?” The response has always been in affirmative despite the person dying from the inside.
“ How are you doing?” – The less used responses….
F.Diana Barth, L.C.S.W , a psychotherapist and psychoanalyst from the New York says “ on one level, ‘ how are you?’ simply is a way of making contact.Its a social code , but the code isn’t always easy to figure out.”
Perhaps the fact that some people aren’t able to figure out the social code explains why they mostly respond in the affirmative. Thus leaving some responses unused.
As a result,this can be dangerous.It is good to open up.Spit it all out.The heat .The pressure.It is okay to respond “ I’m a little under the weather “, “ I’m kind of struggling with the things that are going on in the world “ among other responses according to your true current situation.
Those responses will usually depend on the context.The person whom you are speaking to.For instance , when passing by a neighbour,you may respond “i’m ok “ and move on .
Whereas, when you are sitted with that friend of yours , you may have to open up. That is,say what is really going on in your life.It is kind of therapeutic to speak it out. Let out the steam and share your burdens .Look for ways to make them less burdensome.